March 23, 2020

Dear Isabel,

Ontario Ford government now requires all healthcare professionals to work, cancelling all vacations, and flexibility to deploy to other locations of work when need be. How did I get so lucky to be on mat leave and avoiding this chaos right now? What did I do to deserve this? God has been so good to me all throughout my life, Izzy. I know you can trust in Him to be good to you as well...protecting you. 

Back in 2018 after your Dada and I had been married for 1.5 years, we decided it was time to move from our one bedroom Aqua condo in the harbourfront to a house. We needed more space to store all the stuff that we have. We went through three bids before getting the 96 Glebemount Ave house. We lost the house we both really loved, 33 Gates. But your Dada saw how much I liked this one and he allowed us to put a higher offer than we wanted - $1.1M! that's a whole lot of money! I later realized Dada didn't love the house but he was willing to buy it and sell his beloved waterfront condo to move here. Our house has no water view. That's how much he loves me! Izzy, I wish for you to find a husband that loves you so much and willing to sacrifice the things he loves for you too! That's when you know you can follow him for life=)

That summer when we moved in we were super busy fixing our house, getting our basement ready to be rented out. We had no time to "try" for a baby. That September, Dada and I went to Istanbul and Greece for vacation. We both loved to travel. We were finally able to relax and enjoy each other. We took a break from visiting Home Depot, which had become our second home. In Istanbul we conceived you! What a surprise! Let me tell you, if you use apps to track your period, the app will show you when during the month is your most fertile time.... well don't just rely on that! God's plans are mysterious and miracles happen! I still remember announcing to Dada. His response, "wow wow wow wow.." What a surprise indeed! You are a miracle Isabel and such a blessing to our family! 

I knew from the very beginning that you are going to be a good baby. My pregnancy was so smooth - no nausea, no vomiting, no sickness. You allowed me to sleep and didn't kick me. It was nice to feel you rolling around. As I got bigger my SI pain worsen though. It hurt whenever I moved and that was no fun. I hope for you not to experience that. 

Even at the time of labour everything went relatively smoothly. You were so ready to come into this world. You came 2.5 weeks early! I was still going to work for another two weeks! All my plans of what I would do before you came went down the drain. Mommy should have not procrastinated. My first stage of labour was while I was sleeping at night. On the morning of Tuesday, June 4, I woke up at 6am to use the bathroom. I saw a couple light pink dots on my liner which I had never seen during my pregnancy. I called Michael Garron Hospital labour and delivery ward who told me to not go in unless a pad was filled with blood. I waited until 9am to call my OB's office. The secretary Babeta told me to go to the hospital just in case. My OB Dr. Tara McLeod was not in the office that day. Being in healthcare, I knew that if I didn't dilate enough they would turn me down anyway. I didn't want to go in just to be sent home. So I waited and tried to sleep through the random contractions. Maybe it was Braxton Hicks? Later I could no longer sleep again. I had these cramps that were hard to describe.. not too painful but I wanted to use the washroom to pee periodically. I tracked my contractions on a app...8-10mins, inconsistent. I did not want to go to the hospital until they were five minutes apart. I was in touch with my friend Phuong, who is a labour and delivery nurse at Mount Sinai. It was near lunch time now and she said if I cannot sleep through this, I should go to the hospital. I told Simon (Dada) to drive me there, I was lying on my side on the couch. He told me to give him 5mins as he wanted to finish his lunch and a few work emails. Dada's been working from home ever since his emergency back surgery back in April. I waited 20mins and after that told him that if he doesn't drive me, I will walk there instead. The hospital is normally a seven minute walk from our house if you are healthy.

We made it to the hospital around 1pm and shortly an OB assessed me - I kept needing to use the washroom and getting very uncomfortable in any position. Dr Melanie Ornstein felt my cervix and I was 8cm! Once I reach 10cm I would be able to push you out! I was not ready to deliver a baby! I wanted an epidural and I needed two doses of antibiotics for strep A first. Thankfully I was able to get all of these in time despite my veins being small and my contractions increasing so as it's harder to get the epidural in the right spot. I could not hold still enough... so painful. Isabel if you even deliver a baby, get the epidural! Once it got in, things went smooth sailing. I had time to send out emails and rearrange food service from our cooking doula Ka Wai.